Some poetry, well, limericks, for our time
There’s nobody here from Nantucket
I sometimes write limericks to blow off a little steam, or to provide a quick comment on something for social media without writing a story here. Here is just a sample of them.
Here’s a limerick using all words from Dorothy Thompson’s famous article about her interview of Adolph Hitler in the ’30s, which got her kicked out of the country. I thought the words fit Donald Trump, too. It’s probably my favorite.
With a caricatured countenance,
And an air of real inconsequence,
He’s ill-poised, insecure,
But by no means demure,
His whole frame is cartilaginous.
This one is from the 2020 election cycle.
The President solicits Hope Hicks,
To try, yes, to improve Donald’s shticks.
It’s a pretty big task,
Almost too much to ask,
Donald’s boat is too leaky to fix.
During the pandemic, there was a lot of overheated litigation commenced, including by churches who asserted the right to pack ’em, even though there were several COVID deaths among people who sang in church choirs. Minnesota’s First Amendment Frito Bandito, Doug Seaton, started some of the suits.
Comes now to the court, Douglas Seaton,
About stuff, he’s always a’bleatin’,
It’s about a big church,
He says, “Left in the lurch,”
But it’s cash in the pews, not freedom.
“The First Amendment’s at stake! Doug bellows,”
But it is sure true of such fellows,
That ‘neath the malarkey,
The goal’s just anarchy,
Let churches be fest’ring hellholes.
Now for some limericks about the reign of the current crop of tin pot dictators. Here’s one about Stephen Miller; the word ‘State’ could refer to the US or Venezuela.
Stephen has megalomania,
He hails from, yes, Transylvania,
A long box with a lid,
Where he’s slept since a kid,
And dreams of State pyromania.
The ridiculous Kristi Noem, the ten-gallon hat covering a one-quart brain, is an obvious limerick target.
Consider the cosplay twit Kristi,
Her ethics and morals are twisty,
Her re-engineered face,
Is a surgeon’s disgrace,
This harpy’s whole package is shifty.
Who can forget the brave commentary of Megyn Kelly, an early Fox pin-up girl, now fighting for relevance, who defended Trump by saying it wasn’t ‘pedophilia,’ really it was just ‘ephebophilia,’ a completely different thing: liking young teenage girls, not children. Well, that’s totally different, Megyn! Thanks for clearing that up. (It helps if you pronounce ‘amnesia’ to explicitly rhyme with ‘memorabilia.’)
It is just ephebophilia,
Ignore the memorabilia,
Megyn says forget it,
She votes to acquit it,
She’d give us all the amnesia.
Speaking of teenagers, Trump’s press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, the little tart, is a real piece of work, literally.
She looks down her re-engineered nose,
At a press she considers her foes,
With a gargle of bile,
She says lies with a smile,
Her boss continues to decompose.
I was thinking about Pete Hegseth’s future job prospects when I wrote this one. Of course, Fox might take him back, even if he’s a bit shopworn.
Consider the one Hegseth, Peter,
In romance, a serial cheater,
His job is War Sec’y,
His performance? Drecky,
His next job? He’s a Walmart greeter.
The Trump sycophant Lisa Demuth should come in for more scorn, in my opinion.
With tresses of hair that are raven,
But with a heart that is so craven,
Demuth’s a true coward,
Her spinelessness flowered,
To get the Repub nomination.
I’ll end — for now — with ones about J. Davenport Vance and Pamela Jo Bondi.
The odious J. Davenport Vance,
Has MAGA nation deep in a trance,
It’s nineteen-eighty-four,
To this Trumpian whore,
And ICE will shoot you dead for a glance.
Bondi is getting hysterical,
Because of facts so empirical,
She’s a real Stygian witch,
And a pestilent bitch,
And when she falls it’ll be so lyrical.
Readers may republish these limericks, non-commercially, so long as attribution is given to me as the author.
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