The Pawnshop Party | Steve Sack
by Steve Timmer
Jan 7, 2013, 7:00 AM

Republican correspondence 10

My dear Shorty,

How could you ask for advice from that heretic AC? He has opposed me ever since 1994 when I tried to bring conservative values to the Minnesota Governor’s Office. He is my nemesis.

After running twice — successfully, I admit — for Governor, AC has never run for anything since. Sure he was also in the Minnesota House and a three-term State Auditor, but what has he done lately? I mean, other than defeating the photo voter ID amendment referendum?

Remember, this man is pro-choice. Unlike me. Why, I am so pro-life that I cut a dead fetus out of my dead wife to display in a coffin. Well, okay, that was macabre, but it is the thought that counts.

And unlike AC, I’ve continued to run for things; I’ve never been elected to anything after losing to AC in 1994, but again, it is the thought that counts.

AC is a secularist. We don’t have God in the government; we don’t have God in the schools. The only place I can find God these days is in my corn crib! But I’m going to bring that same God to the Legislature soon, believe me. Then we’ll see who gets the last laugh.


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