by Steve Timmer

Feb 14, 2013, 1:00 PM

A retirement recommendation for the Pope

A commentary by Frank Cerabino (Cox Newspapers), in the form of a letter to the Pope and making a retirement location suggestion to him, was printed in the Strib yesterday. It is the latest piece to snag the coveted Spotty™. Here are just a few excerpts. Please go to the Strib and read the entire thing.

Dear Pope Benedict:

First of all, congratulations.

As a wise man once said: Nobody on his or her deathbed has ever said, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.”

So props to you, Benedict XVI, for being the first pope in 600 years to realize that.

When you become a retiree at the end of the month, you’ll need a new place to stay.

Have you considered moving to Florida? Everyone else has.

Cerabino observes that the Pope is looking at “fixer-upper monastary” at the Vatican, but counsels against it:

That’s never a good idea. First it’s like, “Oh, we’re so glad to have you around for your counsel, blah, blah, blah … ” and within a few months, your calls are going straight to voice mail and you’re getting all your papal news from Twitter.

And Cerabino writes that the Pope will fit in in Florida:

Half of the adults-only developments here have Italian-sounding names and were built in the style of the Vatican. And nearly all the landscaping work is done by Catholics.

Remember, a Spotty™ is awarded to the author of an opinion piece, a letter to the editor, or a blog post or comment that I wish I had written myself.