There is a knave whose name is Donald

Before ’24 election, when Donald Trump was mired in serious criminal legal problems, I wrote a sea shanty lampooning Trump. I used the tunes from two well-know sea shanties, The Wellerman and What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor. I made a little effort to get it produced, but then the election happened, and I just put it away.

Donald’s fortunes have dwindled of late, and their are still viable cases against him for insurrection and espionage, even after the Supreme Court’s vile immunity case. So, here’s the sea shanty.

Trump Sea Shanty

Steve Timmer © 2024

Four beats on the tambourine, then the penny whistle plays a verse of What Shall We Do with a Drunken Sailor, then:

Shantyman: (What Shall We Do verse)

What shall we do with a crim’nal president?
What shall we do with a crim’nal president?
What shall we do with a crim’nal president?
Throw him in the brig! (tambourine shot)

Chorus: (What Shall We Do refrain)

Way hey! Let’s throw ‘im overboard!
Way hey! Let’s throw ‘im overboard!
Way hey! Let’s throw ‘im overboard!”
Send him swimming in the ocean! Huh!

(Interlude with a penny whistle playing the verse tune of the Wellerman)

Women: (Sung to the tune of the Wellerman verse)

There is a knave whose name is Donald,
There’s many a lass whose bottom he’s fondled,
He cannot keep his hands to home,
Oh, that Donnie boy blows! Oh!

Men: (sung to the tune of the Wellerman refrain)

Soon may the constable come,
To clap in irons that miserable bum,
And when the constable is done,
Don must take his leave and go. Huh!

Women: (Wellerman refrain tune)

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la (happily)
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la. Oh!

Men: (Wellerman verse tune)

He left the White House and kept some stuff,
And with some people he did discuss,
And now Jack Smith is making a fuss,
He’s calling it espionage. Huh!

Women: (Wellerman refrain tune)

Soon may the constable come,
To clap in irons that miserable bum,
And when the constable is done,
Don must take his leave and go. Oh!

Chorus: (Wellerman verse tune)

But well most certainly, worst of all,
Don plotted to make the government fall,
Over democracy he cast a pall,
He must take his leave and go. Huh!

Chorus: (Wellerman refrain tune)

Soon may the constable come,
To clap in irons that miserable bum,
And when the constable is done,
Don must take his leave and go. Huh!

Women: (Wellerman verse tune)

And now the circle is closing fast,
Don’s money for lawyers will never last,
Now it’s true, the die is cast,
Donald’s boat is truly sunk. Oh!

Men: (Wellerman refrain tune)

Soon may the constable come,
To clap in irons that miserable bum,
And when the constable is done,
Don must take his leave and go.

(Pause one beat)

To prison. (spoken)

Chorus, Women vocalizing and ornamented penny whistle: (What Shall We Do verse tune)

What shall we do with a crim’nal president? (louder and quicker)
What shall we do with a crim’nal president?
What shall we do with a crim’nal president?
Throw him in the brig! Huh!

Chorus, faster with even more vocalizing and ornamented penny whistle: (What Shall We Do refrain tune)

Way hey, and let’s be done with ‘im, (still louder and quicker)
Way hey and let’s be done with ‘im,
Way, hey, and let’s be done with ‘im, Now and forever! Oh!
(The last Oh! is in the stratosphere for the sopranos)