Caught between a rock and an orange jello mold
Donald Trump has acquired a tilt,
And he speaks with a guttural lilt,
…His Resolute snoozes,
…Disease from them oozes,
It’s a public and obvious wilt.
§§§
They call him God’s imperfect vessel,
And in his bosom they do nestle,
…But little do they realize,
…An ogre in disguise, (thinly disguised)
Who just wants to steal and embezzle.
§§§
With a caricatured countenance,
And an air of real inconsequence,
…He’s ill-poised, insecure,
…But by no means demure,
His whole frame is cartilaginous.
This one was written after reading an article based on an interview that journalist Dorothy Thompson (Sinclair Lewis’ wife; dinner conversation with them would have been intimidating) did of Adolph Hitler in the late ’30s. She didn’t think much of Hitler, and the article got her kicked out of Germany. I thought a lot of Thompson’s words fit Donald Trump, too, so I took some of them and made them into a limerick. I can’t claim full credit for it. Dorothy Thompson is a great co-author.
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And yet. In spite off all the evidence Trump has provided of his rank incompetence and titanically stupid policy decisions, his obvious love of authoritarian leaders, and all of his vainglorious stunts inflicted on Washington, D.C.’s architecture, none of the three Republican primary candidates who consider themselves gubernatorial timber can find a single thing to disagree with Donald Trump about.
In forum after forum, and interview after interview, Qualls, Demuth, and Lindell (don’t make me laugh) and all of the other (cough) candidates couldn’t come up with a single disagreement with Il Donald. Qualls is reported to have said that he had disagreements with his wife — but not Trump — and that perhaps he had disagreed with Trump’s choice of a tie. That one time.
They all agree with Trump’s start of the illegal, terribly ill-advised, and ruinously expensive war (we ain’t seen nothin’ yet) with Iran at the behest of Bibi Netanyahu, who is already a criminal wanted in the dock in the Hague. Swell.
They agree with Trump’s unlawful tariff regime that cost Minnesota farmers their Chinese soybean market, after which Trump traveled to China and Xi beat him like a rug. And it cost the rest of us lots of dollars at the grocery store. And the gas pump? Well, see the last paragraph.
They agree with the savage beatings, injury, and deaths caused by the Department of Homeland Security’s brownshirts (some of them literally brownshirts) during Metro Surge. Not to mention the economic damage caused to the state.
The list goes on.
I wouldn’t want any of these lightweight, sycophantic clucks to be the manager of Tractor Factory No. 27 in the old Soviet Union, much less the governor of Minnesota. Do any of you really think they’d stand up for the state? Be serious.
Why are they like this? First and foremost, of course, is that they are members of the cult, standing ready to drink the poison-laced Kool-Aid. Donald Trump is their Jim Jones. Just a different continent.
It is also because they are scared shitless of Donald Trump. Kendall Qualls and Lisa Demuth are scared into being white people, for crying out loud. They know that Trump is watching them, and that any deviance from total fealty will result in Trump’s slavering dogs being called down on them. Trump has already said he thought that Mike Lindell would make a great governor.
I don’t want to even imagine what it would be like to have one of these Republican lapdogs as our governor.
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